You know that feeling you get sometimes when you’re standing in a high place? Sudden urge to jump? I don’t have it.” – Captain Jack Sparrow, On Stranger Tides (2011)

If Captain Jack Sparrow does not have the urge to jump the waterfall, I don’t have the urge to separate myself from expectation and desire who clearly defies the way of reality.

Well, the question is… Do you? I’m sure you do, but I don’t.

Just a while ago, I received news about a couple of old friends graduated from high school. I noticed, furnishing them with congratulatory appeals more to clouded partings. Yet, there will be no chance time will wait for you to return back, and certainly you can’t argue with the law of nature. Some of them only have several months left to remain in their home country, they study abroad from America, German, Japan, China, Taiwan, Singapore, and Australia. Each marking their own paths.

I find it rather repulsive, because I enjoy the memories I had with them.  They are… beautiful, you know? You could hear the sweet, joyful laughter from miles away at every classroom in school. Their fists banging the floor, your stomach aching, and another boisterous laugh joined in. The rush you feel when you tricked someone as they chased you away? Perhaps, a happy birthday prank throwing a dust of flours, or tons of water balloons all over their hairs and body? All of them cracked one by one, agreeing with one another that we were nothing more than mere maniacs.

It was at times like this that I feel alive the most. You feel confident, alive, happy, and warm. And, here I am, reminiscing of what it’s like to go back. It leaves you a feeling of insecurities for the evening, but have a crippling effect on you in later life. That’s why, it’s important to leave the dirt wash away on its own, and invest in your relationship. Everything is resting upon it.

The most important part is that every one of them should earn its place.

Small deeds, gratitude, and confessions.


4 thoughts on “Locked-In

  1. I totally know what you mean. This is the last month at a school I spent incredible 9 years in, and I just CAN’T imagine a proper school day without my classmates.
    Memories don’t go away, but as good as those memories are, sometimes it’s terribly painful to think about them. Oh well, but that is life, isn’t it?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, it’s life. The bitterness of life. I’ve seen your post on “Appreciation”, you missed him then? The guy you’re refering to? I really hope things go well in the near future, and after years reunion, it won’t go awkward. Let’s do our best to hold the best memories and slowly let it go…

      Liked by 1 person

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